Today is the first day of the last month of 2017. If you are like me there are so many things grappling for my time and attention. We have Christmas presents that haven’t been purchased and a multitude of things to plan. It’s one of the busiest season of the year as we plan our Christmas Eve services for church. Not to mention we are moving into our very first home in a few short weeks!
As I was getting ready to end my day yesterday, I was reminded of a very powerful scripture, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1st Peter 5:7 NIV
I felt like God was telling me to slow down and remember that I don’t have to handle all the pressures of life on my own. I really needed to hear God tell me that. I needed that permission. Permission to give him my stuff. Permission to give him my anxiety and my battles.
2017 was one of the hardest years of my life. I can’t really tell you one particular reason why. I think it was just hard because life can be hard sometimes. Last year my dad passed away on Christmas eve so I’ve been working through that this year. We were not extremely close but grief is still grief. And then there is the grief and guilt of wishing our relationship was better. There is the pain of what will never be.
Our church is almost 3 1/2 years old now. It has been incredible to lead such an amazing church but we’ve had to really fight this year. Fight to stay committed to the vision that God put in our heart, fight to not settle with yesterday’s victories, fight to believe God for freedom for people who don’t believe for themselves, fight to not get caught up in comparing our church to others and fight to appreciate the journey. I’m also fighting through my unrealistic expectations of myself. I don’t doubt my calling but I do sometimes doubt my ability to handle the stress of ministry. The stress of life in general. And that’s why I needed to be reminded I don’t have to carry that anxiety.
It’s funny how I often I need to be reminded of that. In our home we have this verse on our wall that says, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”(Exodus 14:4 NIV) How many times have I read that verse or glanced at it? The words in that picture frame have no power in my life unless I believe them and grab a hold of them. My anxieties are real but Im not called to carry them. My battles are intense yet God says I need only to be still. I believe there is a rest for my soul that God is calling me to.
As Im concluding the rest of the year, I’m determined to let go of my anxieties. I’m determined to really reflect on what Christmas is really about. God came for us to do for us things that we couldn’t do for ourselves. I’m praying for you today as well. Let’s finish our year reflecting in the joy that we don’t have to carry those burdens on our own.
