FORTY- That’s how old I turned today. The word reminds me of malt liquor. (A forty is a refence to a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor.) I have a distinct memory of the first time I drank Malt liquor. 26ish years ago (I can’t quite remember in my old age), one of my friends and I decided we needed to get someone we knew to buy beer. Like the wise young boys we were, we had to go big. Instead of a small six-pack or even a 40 ounce, we bought a 64ounce bottle of Old English Malt liquor and both finished them.  A mix of satisfaction and fear was in room. We danced and congratulated each other and probably listened to Cypress Hill’s Insane in the Membrane or Back to the Hotel by N2Deep. We were kings. We had the world in our laps. That was until we proceeded to puke up all 64 ounces of that Malt Liquor. The jubilation was over and I was done.

But not done living that life. Not for a few more years. I had pain to numb. Many of you know my story and this post isn’t about my whole journey. I’d rather reflect on the last decade. And it’s my party so I can write what I want to. I’m going to share a few of the greatest lessons I’ve learned and memorable experiences over the last decade.

Here are some of the lessons I learned and things to remember from the last decade.

I learned that I don’t have to be perfect to be worth loving. With that, I’ve learned it’s easier for me to give love than receive it. I’m working on that. A book called Prodigal God by Tim Keller opened my eyes to love.

Leaving the longest job that I had ever had (8 1/2 years) and loved to plant a church with no promise of security took the rawest faith I have ever had. It was incredibly challenging and so rewarding. You can read about that adventure HERE if you’d like.

I started seeing a counselor every week and have for the last 6 years. Now it’s monthly or every other week. This has been one of the greatest decisions I have ever made.

Becky is my best friend. And a dynamic leader. The greatest and most influential days of our ministry are ahead but they started all in the same place. We were willing. We weren’t and aren’t perfect. But we are willing. God is far from done using our lives and we have committed that He can do whatever He desires through us. However, we will not pretend to be perfect in that process.

I’ve learned I don’t need the approval or understanding of others to be successful. Even though I’ve desperately wanted it.

When I went to the Baltic, I learned that in some countries there can be 96-97 percent of the population that is unchurched.  That forever changed me.

Co-leading our church with my wife has been the best and one of the hardest things for our marriage. We had to work through some resentments. We have had to learn what we are good at and what we are not. We are still learning how to do this well.

I’ve officiated several weddings and several funerals in my 30’s. Funerals are by far my favorite thing to officiate. Probably because I have forgotten important details every wedding. Like- “you may now kiss the bride.” At funerals, people are open to God and thinking about there own spirituality. It’s such a privilege to help people morn and think about eternity.

My kids have more inner security in their young lives than I did in my 20’s and 30’s. They will be amazing at whatever God puts in their hands.

Having a tumor removed in my knee was scary and reminded me of my need to pay attention to my health. I hope that my 50’s blog post will have a better report.

My biological dad died in 2016. I’m still grieving and learning how to grieve but I know he’d be proud of the life I am living.

Being a lead Pastor isn’t what I thought it would be like. It’s both better and worse.  It’s a role that requires a willingness to be in pain. “Reluctance to face pain is your greatest limitation.” Sam Chand. For me, it requires constant refinement and learning. But watching God transform people and families and creating a church home that anyone can come to has been mind-blowing.  Pastoring multiple generations has been such an honor.

Having an incredible staff that is behind us is the most empowering thing I have ever experienced as a leader.

Being a father is the easiest role for me for some reason. It’s the most natural. My children will be my greatest legacy.

The list is far from complete. And I am still learning every day.

I’m starting my 40’s with a sense of peace and confidence that I didn’t have to start my 30’s. I feel like I’ve settled in my purpose and calling. It’s like the seat of my suburban that I have been driving over a decade. That seat just feels right. That seat formed to the nuances in the body. I’m used to driving in it. I’ve been a dad and in full-time ministry for 15 years and serving in some kind of ministry for 20 years. Here’s one for you..I’ve been around for 31 years of Madden NFL Football. 31 different versions and I’m still terrible at it. Dang.

God has been speaking to me recently about a life verse.  It took 40 years but I think I finally have one. That picture above sums it up. My words matter. That picture was taken with me and Kinzey this summer in front of the Grand Tetons.  Here is the verse the Lord spoke to me as my life verse. He told me to put my name where Samuel’s name was listed. “The LORD was with Travis as he grew up, and he let none of Travis’s words fall to the ground.”  1st Samuel 3:19 NIV (the name Samuel was replaced with Travis.)

I can confidently believe that about myself because of all that God has done. His love is real. His power is real. His healing is complete. He doesn’t lie. He can be relied on. He can be experienced. He is the best Father. That kid I wrote about above experienced His love. God loved me in my mess. He doesn’t love me anymore now than He did then. It just took me 40 years to realize it.